PARAPROSDOKIANS

"Para What?"  Yea, that's what I thought when I read that for the first time.  Here's the definition:

"A paraprosdokian (pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax."  (thank you Wikipedia)


So now that that part is out of the way (like I really understood that), I thought I would just share a few.  It's amazing what you find when you're not even looking.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little bit of silliness on this happy Friday.


1.  Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2.  I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

4.  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

5.  If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

6.  We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

7.  War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

8.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

9.  Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

10.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

11.  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

12.  How is it, one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

13.  Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

14.  Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

15.  I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

16.  Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

17.  Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

18.  Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

19.  A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

20.  You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

21.  The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

22.  Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

23.  A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

24.  Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

25.  Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

26.  Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

27.  I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

28.  When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

29.  You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

30.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Okay, enough is enough.  Until the next time! 


Next week, we're building a Christmas tree.  That should be lots of fun, so don't forget to stop in each day to see what we've got going on.  And unless I'm thrown off here, maybe the following week, I'll share of few more of those things I can't pronounce.  

Have a great weekend.

~~~Duuude~~~